Thoughts on Supernatural: Are Cas and Dean in Love?

1. About Writing and Dean’s sexuality:

Usually when I’m exploring whether two characters are in love or not, their gender and sexuality hardly ever matter. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: You can’t bog your characters down with labels.

Fictional characters are people and, like people, they never turn out the way you want them to. Characters change and develop in ways you can’t possibly imagine and, as a writer, you have to let that happen. So, unless you’re writing something along the lines of BrokebackMountain, The L Word, or a Romance novel, there’s strong possibility that your characters sexuality will shift or develop from what you originally expected it to be. And I think this happened with Dean.

Now, I don’t think Dean’s gay, but I don’t know if he’s bi or heterosexual either. Dean’s sexuality is a pretty big question mark and I’d like to think it’s fluid. I think Dean could be attracted to pretty much anyone who catches his fancy. Do I think he acts on it? Probably not.

I think Dean’s homophobic. Actually, that’s not quite true; I think he’s perfectly fine with lesbians. I think Dean’s afraid of male intimacy, so he’s uncomfortable with male/male relationships. Dean views two men in a gay relationship as emasculating.

Dean has a complex. He needs to be seen as a ‘manly’ man at all times. So, regardless of whatever feelings he may have, sexual or romantic, for the men around him (even if it is a genderless angel who just happens to be in a man-suit) he wouldn’t, ever, act on it.

2. Cas’ Sexuality:

I don’t think Cas has a sexuality. I, personally, don’t think that Cas is physically attracted to anybody. I won’t say he’s asexual though, because I don’t know how angels/if angels reproduce and, more so, the other angels appear to be sexual. Without exploring angel sexuality in depth, it’s difficult to say what sort of sexualities exists in angel culture and whether or not they exist in angel culture sans vessels. So, I can’t really think of a proper way to describe Cas except to say that I think he’s absent of a sexuality.   

When Cas reacts to sex (after watching porn or in 2014) it’s purely physiological. It’s because he’s in a human body that reacts to physical pleasure or the perceived notion of physical pleasure. That doesn’t mean that Cas can’t have sex and enjoy it or appreciate the act of having sex, that just means that he doesn’t feel the drive to do it. Even when he kissed Meg.

Meg and Cas kissing seemed more or less like an experiment. It’s not coincidental that it happened just after Cas was watching porn. It’s also not coincidental that Cas saw it, tried it once, and then never did it again. That says a lot about Cas’ character and his personal sexual drive.

Bearing in mind that Cas lacks a sexuality, I’m not certain that he is or can be sexually attracted to Dean. So, whatever’s driving his relationship with Dean isn’t sexual.

3. How do Cas and Dean feel about each other?

Cas loves Dean. I have no doubt in my mind that Cas could spend the rest of his life with Dean and still be happy. They could be friends, family, boyfriends, or whatever type of relationship you want to apply, as long as they’re together, Cas would be happy. That, to me, is love. I think that Cas is in love with Dean, I just think he doesn’t quite understand it. Which is why Cas doesn’t go to Dean without good reason or unless called by him. And this brings me to Dean.

Dean loves Cas. That much is obvious in the way he opens up to him, depends on him, and reaches out to him. But, there’s something about their relationship that’s a little off.

Dean tends to switch around a lot when it comes to Cas – especially in season 6. I think that as long as the apocalypse was an issue and Cas was useful, it’s easier for Dean to be around and open with Cas. But once the apocalypse passed, Cas, in Dean’s mind, had little to no reason for being around Dean so often. But, I also think that Dean wanted him around and that confused him and made him uncomfortable.

Dean, I think, is not only in love with Cas, but sexually attracted to him. And I think that scares the shit out of Dean, because his relationship with Cas is so intimate. Not only because Cas saved him from hell, not only because Cas’ has essentially marked him, but because he can have conversations with Cas; because he is favoured by Cas; because he understands Cas; because Cas understands him; because even when he doesn’t need Cas around he wants him around; and because, lastly, and most importantly of all, Cas makes Dean happy. For some inexplicable reason, Cas makes Dean happy. And in Dean’s mind, that puts Dean at a disadvantage. Dean has very specific ideas of what should and shouldn’t make a man happy.

In Dean’s mind, there are only two ways of living: Apple pie lifestyle or Hunting. Apple pie life makes you happy whereas hunting ends with bloody death and destruction. Dean is a hunter. Dean can’t contemplate any other type of lifestyle. And because of this, Dean’s pretty much surrendered to the fact that he’ll never be happy. So when things come along that make Dean happy, aside from the three vices he’s adopted (drinking, porn, and sex) it confuses him and makes him uncomfortable. Cas confuses Dean and makes him uncomfortable.

4. So, what’s the verdict, they in love or not?

You know what? I’ve said all this stuff and I’ve explored their relationship and I’m still confused. Because, yeah, they’re in love with each other, but it’s not as simple as that. It’s not as simple as saying they’re in love with each other, because they’re not in the same kind of love.

Cas loves Dean. Cas is in love with Dean. But Cas is in love with Dean in a way that neither he nor anybody else can really understand. I think it’s a sort of pure, unconditional love, that far surpasses the romantic and delves into the fact that Cas doesn’t need anymore from Dean then just for him to be by Cas’ side. Cas doesn’t need romance or sex or anything more from Dean other than for Dean to be there, and to acknowledge him.

Dean’s in love with Cas. I firmly believe that Dean is drawn to Cas physically and romantically and that’s why he treats Cas the way he does. And I think, if Dean admitted to himself and Cas how he felt, than he’d have to face the fact that Cas is (most likely) incapable of feeling the same way. And that would be, at best, heartbreaking.