Thoughts on Supernatural: Are Cas and Dean in Love?

1. About Writing and Dean’s sexuality:

Usually when I’m exploring whether two characters are in love or not, their gender and sexuality hardly ever matter. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: You can’t bog your characters down with labels.

Fictional characters are people and, like people, they never turn out the way you want them to. Characters change and develop in ways you can’t possibly imagine and, as a writer, you have to let that happen. So, unless you’re writing something along the lines of BrokebackMountain, The L Word, or a Romance novel, there’s strong possibility that your characters sexuality will shift or develop from what you originally expected it to be. And I think this happened with Dean.

Now, I don’t think Dean’s gay, but I don’t know if he’s bi or heterosexual either. Dean’s sexuality is a pretty big question mark and I’d like to think it’s fluid. I think Dean could be attracted to pretty much anyone who catches his fancy. Do I think he acts on it? Probably not.

I think Dean’s homophobic. Actually, that’s not quite true; I think he’s perfectly fine with lesbians. I think Dean’s afraid of male intimacy, so he’s uncomfortable with male/male relationships. Dean views two men in a gay relationship as emasculating.

Dean has a complex. He needs to be seen as a ‘manly’ man at all times. So, regardless of whatever feelings he may have, sexual or romantic, for the men around him (even if it is a genderless angel who just happens to be in a man-suit) he wouldn’t, ever, act on it.

2. Cas’ Sexuality:

I don’t think Cas has a sexuality. I, personally, don’t think that Cas is physically attracted to anybody. I won’t say he’s asexual though, because I don’t know how angels/if angels reproduce and, more so, the other angels appear to be sexual. Without exploring angel sexuality in depth, it’s difficult to say what sort of sexualities exists in angel culture and whether or not they exist in angel culture sans vessels. So, I can’t really think of a proper way to describe Cas except to say that I think he’s absent of a sexuality.   

When Cas reacts to sex (after watching porn or in 2014) it’s purely physiological. It’s because he’s in a human body that reacts to physical pleasure or the perceived notion of physical pleasure. That doesn’t mean that Cas can’t have sex and enjoy it or appreciate the act of having sex, that just means that he doesn’t feel the drive to do it. Even when he kissed Meg.

Meg and Cas kissing seemed more or less like an experiment. It’s not coincidental that it happened just after Cas was watching porn. It’s also not coincidental that Cas saw it, tried it once, and then never did it again. That says a lot about Cas’ character and his personal sexual drive.

Bearing in mind that Cas lacks a sexuality, I’m not certain that he is or can be sexually attracted to Dean. So, whatever’s driving his relationship with Dean isn’t sexual.

3. How do Cas and Dean feel about each other?

Cas loves Dean. I have no doubt in my mind that Cas could spend the rest of his life with Dean and still be happy. They could be friends, family, boyfriends, or whatever type of relationship you want to apply, as long as they’re together, Cas would be happy. That, to me, is love. I think that Cas is in love with Dean, I just think he doesn’t quite understand it. Which is why Cas doesn’t go to Dean without good reason or unless called by him. And this brings me to Dean.

Dean loves Cas. That much is obvious in the way he opens up to him, depends on him, and reaches out to him. But, there’s something about their relationship that’s a little off.

Dean tends to switch around a lot when it comes to Cas – especially in season 6. I think that as long as the apocalypse was an issue and Cas was useful, it’s easier for Dean to be around and open with Cas. But once the apocalypse passed, Cas, in Dean’s mind, had little to no reason for being around Dean so often. But, I also think that Dean wanted him around and that confused him and made him uncomfortable.

Dean, I think, is not only in love with Cas, but sexually attracted to him. And I think that scares the shit out of Dean, because his relationship with Cas is so intimate. Not only because Cas saved him from hell, not only because Cas’ has essentially marked him, but because he can have conversations with Cas; because he is favoured by Cas; because he understands Cas; because Cas understands him; because even when he doesn’t need Cas around he wants him around; and because, lastly, and most importantly of all, Cas makes Dean happy. For some inexplicable reason, Cas makes Dean happy. And in Dean’s mind, that puts Dean at a disadvantage. Dean has very specific ideas of what should and shouldn’t make a man happy.

In Dean’s mind, there are only two ways of living: Apple pie lifestyle or Hunting. Apple pie life makes you happy whereas hunting ends with bloody death and destruction. Dean is a hunter. Dean can’t contemplate any other type of lifestyle. And because of this, Dean’s pretty much surrendered to the fact that he’ll never be happy. So when things come along that make Dean happy, aside from the three vices he’s adopted (drinking, porn, and sex) it confuses him and makes him uncomfortable. Cas confuses Dean and makes him uncomfortable.

4. So, what’s the verdict, they in love or not?

You know what? I’ve said all this stuff and I’ve explored their relationship and I’m still confused. Because, yeah, they’re in love with each other, but it’s not as simple as that. It’s not as simple as saying they’re in love with each other, because they’re not in the same kind of love.

Cas loves Dean. Cas is in love with Dean. But Cas is in love with Dean in a way that neither he nor anybody else can really understand. I think it’s a sort of pure, unconditional love, that far surpasses the romantic and delves into the fact that Cas doesn’t need anymore from Dean then just for him to be by Cas’ side. Cas doesn’t need romance or sex or anything more from Dean other than for Dean to be there, and to acknowledge him.

Dean’s in love with Cas. I firmly believe that Dean is drawn to Cas physically and romantically and that’s why he treats Cas the way he does. And I think, if Dean admitted to himself and Cas how he felt, than he’d have to face the fact that Cas is (most likely) incapable of feeling the same way. And that would be, at best, heartbreaking.

Warning: This is an opinion piece which I’m sure will offend/disconcert a lot of people. So, fair warning. 

I’ve been mulling over something for a while now. While I’ve discussed the Gwen/Arthur relationship in two posts already, there’s something about it that’s still been bugging me. Not about the relationship in general, not about Gwen, but something I couldn’t touch on, and that is: Arthur. Arthur’s been bugging me and I finally figured out why:

I don’t think Arthur’s straight.

Now, some of you probably think that means I automatically think he’s gay. But that’s not quite it either. Honestly, I’m not sure what Arthur is. I’ve always been conflicted about him sexually but one thing’s for sure – I don’t think he likes girls. There’s a part of me that’s always thought Arthur’s gay and in love with Merlin, and I’ll write about that later. But there’s another part of me that has the distinct impression that Arthur’s asexual. Or, possibly, aromantic.

Asexuality essentially means that you don’t feel sexual attraction towards other people. It doesn’t mean that you don’t find them attractive or can’t feel feelings for them, it just means that you don’t have the desire to lick whipped cream off their chest while they spank you.

Aromanticism means that you may find people sexually attractive or have feelings for them, but you, in no circumstances, have the desire to date, hold hands, or stay in a committed romantic relationship. Friends? Great. Sex? Sure. Marriage? Fuck off.

Someone can be both asexual and aromantic, one of each, or neither. So, what about Arthur? Honestly, I have no freaking clue. Maybe he’s both, maybe he’s one, and, quite possibly, maybe he’s neither.

The thing that gets me is how Arthur’s been represented so far. The only times I can think of in which he actually found someone attractive was when he’d been enchanted. There is that moment at the ball with Morgana, of course, but I always got the impression that he was surprised and admiring of her appearance, not explicitly attracted to it. Arthur’s never shot passing looks at females; he’s never seemed to pay any mind to anyone else, and the only times he looks like he’s checking someone out is when he’s in front of a mirror. This isn’t reflective of Bradley James’ acting, which is phenomenal, it’s reflective of the writing and the universe created. Arthur’s never been given a chance to be attracted to anyone and, at his age, that’s telling.

Now, this could just be because the writing on the show’s a bit shoddy and no one probably considered this, but it seems like there might be more to it. After all, when Gwen or Lancelot or any other character shows interest, romantic or sexual (at least sexual to the extent a family show will allow,) it’s never seemed out of place to me. Even Morgana, if she showed interest in someone else, wouldn’t surprise me. But with Arthur, whenever it seemed like he was heading towards any sort of relationship (chosen or arranged) it was out of place. 

One could say this is due to the fact that Arthur’s immature, selfish, and just not emotionally ready for a relationship, of course. But, frankly, even just plain sex is, well, weird. This isn’t because I’m squeamish about sex or anything like that, but if Arthur just wanted to fool around with a servant, even if it’s just kissing, it seems out of character. Not because he’s supposed to be “noble.” Nobility doesn’t discount physical desire or mean that you can’t have sex because, one thing straight, sex isn’t dirty. Sex isn’t wrong or ugly and doesn’t leave a moral stain, because it’s perfectly natural and okay. As long as it’s consensual and between mature parties, it’s fine. So I, personally, see no reason why Merlin or Gwen or any other character couldn’t have a casual fling. And, frankly, I wouldn’t be surprised if any of them did, it wasn’t entirely uncommon in that era – if you read the legends, all the characters were fairly sexual and/or romantic. Except in Merlin, and I can’t say why, Arthur just doesn’t seem like he’d be interested in that.

To start with, Arthur doesn’t notice people. Arthur only notices people who are either a) family/like family, b) knights, c) Merlin, or d) in distress. Unless Arthur’s in love with Merlin, this isn’t the average behavior of a sexual person. And it wouldn’t be such a big deal if the show didn’t have to enchant him in order to get him to notice/be attracted to someone else. That’s the element that makes me suspect that he’s asexual. I’m tempted to explain his behavior by saying it’s because he’s selfish, but looking at his character, that’s just not true.

Arthur’s been shown to have compassion and he wants to help people, so he’s not completely selfish. It’s not that he’s too self-involved to be attracted to anybody else (Narcissus complex.) He just simply doesn’t seem to be attracted to anyone. Merlin’s been given his moments of attraction through Nimueh, Freya, and Morgana. In fact, Merlin even has a type – brunettes. Arthur, on the other hand? Merlin hasn’t allowed Arthur to develop in the relationship/sexuality spectrum. And the fact that Arthur couldn’t even develop a relationship with Gwen and still be in character indicates to me that the character the show was writing was asexual and/or aromantic.

Another possibility is that he’s supposed to be royal and noble and there’s no room for sexuality in that. But, Uther’s royalty. Yeah, he’s an ass, but he’s not evil. Uther’s been shown repeatedly to be sympathetic and as royal and deserving of respect as anyone. And, frankly, I’d buy him in a relationship – I can see him falling in love sans enchantment and being sexual. Lancelot, too, is just as, if not more, noble than Arthur and I can definitely see him in a relationship/having sex. There’s just something about the character of Arthur.

From what I can see of him, Arthur’s sort of like Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory, but normal. He’s got his hobbies and interests and he’s good at what he does, none of this just happens to correspond with sex or dating. He already seems pretty fulfilled without sexual/romantic companionship.

None if this is to say that Arthur is asexual or aromantic, and it’s certainly not an “If he isn’t in love with Merlin than he’s asexual or aromantic” situation. It’s just to say that, in my opinion, there’s something decidedly wrong with Arthur being in a relationship. Maybe this is because of bad writing/development or maybe I’m just missing something, but Arthur being with anyone just doesn’t make sense to me. Well, part of me. The rest of me wants Arthur to lick whipped cream off of Merlin’s chest while Merlin spanks him. But that’s for a different post.